It feels so awkward to come back here after so long. There were times I had the urge to open up my laptop and write something down, but flushed away by the emotion traps I set up for myself. Things aren't too smooth recently. But I know they are getting better. This is what I'm telling everyone, whenever they ask me 'How's life'. I'm currently on my summer break and am going back to Manchester in a month. The first month of break, I spent all my time rotting at home and enjoying mummy's good food. It actually feels good to come back to my bed and meet up old friends after so long. But I still can't help, but complaining about the weather and the internet speed in Malaysia. I'm raised here, anyway. XD Well, Sunday only comes once in a week, so good life as such can't stay for too long [I'll gain weight]. So, I'm currently interning in a small firm in Shah Alam. It's already been two weeks. [TGIF YEAYYYYY] Two more weeks, and YY is staying strong here. =D

Am browsing through a friend's blogposts recently [ALMOST EVERY DAY], and realized that how much I (still) love Sensy. The satisfaction after reading back my own posts is still there, after I left for so long. Was thinking about re-creating a new blog and write about my [new?] life, but I when tried to read back those old posts, OMG I NEVER KNEW THAT I COULD WRITE SO WELL oh dear, what was I thinking, Sensy is perfectly fine here. And Sensy defines my the best. I do not need to crack my head for another name other than Sensy, like 'Thinking Out Loud', 'Woman-to-be' [putting in lame face].

Look. I completed my first year of degree life, which means 1/3 of my uni life is gone. I didn't pass my first year with flying colors. But by looking at how much effort I'd put in, it still deserves a thumb-up. My first year [it's actually just 9 months] in the UK was undeniably fun, colorful, challenging, memorable and any words you can imagine for a lil girl who never go overseas for this long. Well, this is not the first time staying away from home, but this is definitely the first time staying away from home THIS FAR AND THIS LONG.

I talked to a long-lost friend, K, last night. We stayed together for one and a half year, graduated from college together and continue to chase for our own dreams in the UK, but tbh I never really meet her up in this 9 months. We just didn't plan/manage to meet up. When she came to my place, I wasn't there; when I was at her place, my schedule was always packed. We're not that close, but at times we often have deep talks (at least deeper than usual) with people that we're not too close with.

'How do you find your first year? Any regrets of not doing anything?'

I have to say, I was asking myself when I asked her this question. Struck me hard.

I should've travel more and see more magnificent parts of the world. I should've put those emotions aside and focus more on my studies. I should've switch off my laptop and go for more night-outs to know more friends around the world . I should've stop finding reasons for myself and go out to do more volunteering work. I should've continue my yoga class for the second semester so that I can stop myself putting on weight. I should've wake up earlier everyday and maintain my table tennis training. I should've put those annoying personal problems behind and enjoy the moments. I could've done better than what I've done.

There are regrets. But they are meant to be. Along the journey, I try new things. I experience different seasons. I blend myself into the new culture. I learn. I grow.

And let's restart these. I'm gonna try my best to fill up my second year with tonnes of joy and less regrets. I hope I can continue to write [OKAY, TYPE] in Sensy. I don't know who's reading this, but I appreciate that you still care. Maybe we're close. Maybe we used to be close. We might not be talking to each other anymore, but all those memories together, it's always in my mind. You're always one of the jigsaw pieces in my life.

Alright, I wish you all the best, mate. We'd come this far. =)

Okay, boss just came in, I better start to act like I'm busy. KBYE.

Always wanted to write about this, but [I forgot who told me this] I couldn't update anything about the workplace on line/public, as it's against the contract [?] [Do we even have one?] Yep, about my first job. Ever. I think it's time to have a little sharing about it. Hmm, well, due to the 'confidential'-thingy-reason, I'm not gonna reveal the name of the workplace. =]

WARNING: THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG POST!

Alright. Let's start with...

WAITING PHASE
After all the trips, and after the period of getting rotten at home, I finally got a green light from mum to work. At first, I was thinking about working at some places that are related to my future legal career, so that it'll be easier to 'color up' my CV in future. But, naa, YOLO me, I decided to do something that I wouldn't get the chance to do after I graduate as a LLB holder. Thanks to Jasmine, a few students of hers were looking for tutor for subjects like Accounting, Malay, Maths and Science. So yea, I accepted the job offer and started revising for those subjects that I learned decades ago. LOL. At the same time, was busy looking for adverts in the newspaper to look for jobs that are suitable for me. Got a car for work instead.[XiaoBai] YEAY. Went to a few interviews. End up working as a Kindergarten Teacher Assistant. Consider good pay, I guess? HAHA After a month, things are settled down finally. Successfully persuaded love to work with me together as tutor and kindergarten teacher assistant. YEAY. ---- April 2014

LEARNING PHASE
Met new people, learned new things. It's my first job ever, after all. [if the stint at law firm is not counted, I didn't get paid tho XD] Learned that boss is not always the correct one. Learned that things are not the same as they look. Learned that sometimes we can't follow every orders, even if we're told to do so. LOL [shits happen when you can't understand your boss] Learned that YY needs more patience and soft skills in dealing with complications at workplace. Learned that colleagues are like a big family when you really blend yourself in. Learned that sometimes I don't feel like going home after work, just to spend more time with my colleagues. Learned a lot of knowledge about nursery. Learned that I can be stronger if I am willing to try. Learned that, deep down there, I still enjoy spending time with kids. THEY ARE SIMPLE YET COMPLICATED.

Princess Danica. My sweetie pie. <3

Spent a lot of time with Vinn Yee after school. =]

The apple of my eye. <3 Moi.

Smart Xin Ying! <3

Didn't know that kindergarten children will have their field trips as well till I work here. Had great experience with them.

Always my favourite picture. <3

A rare class photo with Soo Zheng. =D

They were so excited in the bus!

Met Jeremy. The kid that gave me most memories. An autism patient. Couldn't form proper sentences when communicating. Knows a few Chinese words. Loves hugs. Loves radios. Loves English. Loves musics. Loves reading. My first experience taking care of an autism kid. My first thought was, 'Oh my, this is gonna be tough'. I was scared. Days by days, I know him better, and realized that how clever he is. I love to see him smiling to me and waving to everyone. I love to hold his hands and send him to his parents' car. I love to listen to him, reading books, word by word. I love to look at him, and ask him to wear his own shoes. I love to have him sleeping on my lap after a tiring field trip. I still remember the way he runs towards the innovation room. I still remember the way he refuses to wear his shoes before dismissals. I still remember his purple school bag and orange water tumbler. I know chasing after him, here and there, is tiring. I know it's hard to understand him. I couldn't spend longer time to get to know him deeper. But I am sincerely admiring his parents' patience and tolerance, especially Jeremy's father, sending him to school, almost every morning. If I were to say parents love are precious like jewels, I can be sure that theirs are at the level of diamond. Precious and rare. Jeremy, be a good boy always okay, Teacher Yin Yin loves you! *flying kiss that you love the most*

Jeremy drew me during dismissals. Cute drawing indeed! <3

Met bunch of lovely colleagues.
***Stephanie. My supervisor. Could be the best supervisor in the world. Before this, when I heard of the term 'supervisor', it means the strict mini boss that work under the big boss, which equals to 'scary'. HAHA, she's not scary, maybe sometimes. HAHAHAHAHA. She taught me a lot of things, no matter it is about children, education, daily life, bakery, cooking, anything, you name it. =D Glad to meet Steph over there. All the best, Steph. 安亲班快快来～ I can offer to be your legal consultant after I grad. HAHAHAHA
***Soot Ling. One of the 5yearold teacher. A young mum of 2 kiddos. Never fear to reveal her thoughts. Happy to work with you! And hey, saw your graduation photos recently! Congratulations! I know it's not easy to take SPM as a private candidate, and continue your studies on Early Childhood Education, plus you need to take care of the family at the same time. You're doing well, sis! Keep it up! Lots of love for you!
***Soo Zheng. Haha, the first thing that crossed my mind about her is about the late 80's topic. HAHAHA there was a time when SooZheng, Soot Ling, Mian and I were talking about age, we suddenly realized that she's the only 80's baby among us. Oh well. She doesn't look that old, honestly. Happy to work with you, really. I love to assist your class the most! [Don't tell Soot Ling laa XD] Hope that I can receive your wedding invitation card real soon! But if after I graduate lagi bagus laa. =]
Of course, there are others. Lovely colleagues everywhere. Guys! YinYin loves you all! Keep in touch, alright! All the best in your life, everyone of you. Greetings from London.

HIGHLIGHT 1: REN'S WEDDING
Was lucky enough to attend Ren's wedding and that was the first time wearing a saree to attend a wedding! The wedding dinner was awesome, and Ren looks incredibly beautiful! <3

Imagine that I was wearing this to a cafe in the middle of the night. XD

Stephanie in Punjabi suit. =D

Soot Ling, the one who dolled me up that  night. <3

Ren, the pretty bride of the night! =]

Date of the night! <3

HIGHLIGHT 2:  FIRST EVER TEACHER'S DAY
For the first time in forever I celebrate Teachers Day as a TEACHER!

Ronan and Hannah! <3

Kinda sad and happy at the same time. That was my only Teachers Day card on that day. Aiya, assistant mar. XD

Besides working as teacher assistants, tutoring becomes another part of my life for that few months. Waking up early in the morning to work, and coming back in the afternoon. After taking a short nap, and mostly a rushing dinner [always oversleep XD], then we will need to rush to the students' house for tuition. My tuition students taught me a lot too. I finally understand that why Mummy/Jasmine was that tired. I always thought that giving tuition is an easy job, apparently it's not. I even fell asleep during some of the sessions. [I feel so sorry to the parents, but I can't help] Well, great experience tho.

Mummy said that I looked much older and more tired during that time[working], compared to how I look now. Haha. It was undeniably tiring. But it was an important phase of my life, indeed. It was my first time feeding myself on my own. I started to feel more responsible to myself. I learned to communicate better with strangers, and of course working together in a  team. As quoted, 'Team teaching, teachers!' [from Miss Rosmah] And it was a period that I get closer to love. I'm not talking about get closer physically, but from inside. Indeed. We stayed together and spent time together for the few months. Besides creating memories, we understand each other better. We accept more flaws, and found more shiny parts of our lives. We know we have something to cling on whenever necessary. Thanks for standing by my side all the time, no matter during ups or downs. Love you, love. XOXOXXX <---- more kisses, heeee

SAYING GOODBYE PHASE ----> End of July 2014
It's never easy to say good bye. Especially to those kids and colleagues, and of course, my tuition students. Gotta move towards the new phase, to get myself prepared to fly. Farewells, farewells are everywhere. XD No more words. Pictures. Last day of work yo. <3

SooZheng and SootLing <3

Teacher Ooi! <3

HIGHLIGHT 3: FAREWELL DINNER
They actually organize a farewell dinner for Mian and I at Ala Damansara! =D An unforgettable night! Hope everyone is doing fine, no matter in study or work.

Gifts from Steph and Vinn Yee! <3

I love us. <3

Thanks for the farewells. Everyone of you will be remembered. Cheers.

Pens off. After the party. LOL I'm just tipsy, not drunk.