It feels so awkward to come back here after so long. There were times I had the urge to open up my laptop and write something down, but flushed away by the emotion traps I set up for myself. Things aren't too smooth recently. But I know they are getting better. This is what I'm telling everyone, whenever they ask me 'How's life'. I'm currently on my summer break and am going back to Manchester in a month. The first month of break, I spent all my time rotting at home and enjoying mummy's good food. It actually feels good to come back to my bed and meet up old friends after so long. But I still can't help, but complaining about the weather and the internet speed in Malaysia. I'm raised here, anyway. XD Well, Sunday only comes once in a week, so good life as such can't stay for too long [I'll gain weight]. So, I'm currently interning in a small firm in Shah Alam. It's already been two weeks. [TGIF YEAYYYYY] Two more weeks, and YY is staying strong here. =D
Am browsing through a friend's blogposts recently [ALMOST EVERY DAY], and realized that how much I (still) love Sensy. The satisfaction after reading back my own posts is still there, after I left for so long. Was thinking about re-creating a new blog and write about my [new?] life, but I when tried to read back those old posts, OMG I NEVER KNEW THAT I COULD WRITE SO WELL oh dear, what was I thinking, Sensy is perfectly fine here. And Sensy defines my the best. I do not need to crack my head for another name other than Sensy, like 'Thinking Out Loud', 'Woman-to-be' [putting in lame face].
Look. I completed my first year of degree life, which means 1/3 of my uni life is gone. I didn't pass my first year with flying colors. But by looking at how much effort I'd put in, it still deserves a thumb-up. My first year [it's actually just 9 months] in the UK was undeniably fun, colorful, challenging, memorable and any words you can imagine for a lil girl who never go overseas for this long. Well, this is not the first time staying away from home, but this is definitely the first time staying away from home THIS FAR AND THIS LONG.
I talked to a long-lost friend, K, last night. We stayed together for one and a half year, graduated from college together and continue to chase for our own dreams in the UK, but tbh I never really meet her up in this 9 months. We just didn't plan/manage to meet up. When she came to my place, I wasn't there; when I was at her place, my schedule was always packed. We're not that close, but at times we often have deep talks (at least deeper than usual) with people that we're not too close with.
'How do you find your first year? Any regrets of not doing anything?'
I have to say, I was asking myself when I asked her this question. Struck me hard.
I should've travel more and see more magnificent parts of the world. I should've put those emotions aside and focus more on my studies. I should've switch off my laptop and go for more night-outs to know more friends around the world . I should've stop finding reasons for myself and go out to do more volunteering work. I should've continue my yoga class for the second semester so that I can stop myself putting on weight. I should've wake up earlier everyday and maintain my table tennis training. I should've put those annoying personal problems behind and enjoy the moments. I could've done better than what I've done.
There are regrets. But they are meant to be. Along the journey, I try new things. I experience different seasons. I blend myself into the new culture. I learn. I grow.
And let's restart these. I'm gonna try my best to fill up my second year with tonnes of joy and less regrets. I hope I can continue to write [OKAY, TYPE] in Sensy. I don't know who's reading this, but I appreciate that you still care. Maybe we're close. Maybe we used to be close. We might not be talking to each other anymore, but all those memories together, it's always in my mind. You're always one of the jigsaw pieces in my life.
Alright, I wish you all the best, mate. We'd come this far. =)
Okay, boss just came in, I better start to act like I'm busy. KBYE.
Archive for August 2015
