It is the day I can finally spend some time with myself, without any burden in my head, thinking which/how many tutorials I have to prepare or which assessment is coming up soon. Here I am, done with the 9-month BPTC course (hell of a ride). Hopefully, I am done-done. Not resits, fingers-crossed.
Well, obviously I've been hanging out with friends for the past few days after the submission of my very last assessments and spending a ridiculous amount of time talking absolute nonsense, playing lame games like 'Fun Run' and sleeping (Duh?). Before I started this blog post, I wanted to write about the past 9 months. But nuh-uh, I am writing about something else.
Here's why.
I will have to start from the summer in 2016. I was spending a lot of time at home with Sis due to my Dad's illness. I always knew that my Sis started a website to write about IPF (Dad's illness). She vaguely told me the purpose of the website and what she was trying to do, but I was never brave enough to pay her website a visit. It has been almost two and a half years since Dad was diagnosed, and we all know we are going to lose him one day. And that day might come very soon, or not. I still cry like a baby when I delve into my feelings towards this issue, or maybe, the reality(?).
(Fast-forwarding the time) It was early May. I was preparing for another assessment coming up in the university PC cluster and a message popped up. It was from a friend, wanting to talk to me in private. Her father was out-of-breath while driving and had to stop the car to take a rest. She wanted to find out which doctors Dad had seen before he was diagnosed. And this, led me to Sis's website, for the very first time. Honestly, after all these years, I still had no clue how Dad was diagnosed and all. The reason for this was because I was too far away from home and my family decided not to tell me anything odd to worry me. That was why I couldn't answer my friend's question but only to send her the link to Sis's website. I quickly escaped from the negative feeling and dived back into revision after. I was scared to open up the wound that I forcefully mend.
Today, I am finally prepared to read my Sis's website and I finally knew how Dad's journey of IPF began. It kinda struck me there. Mum, Sis and Bro were having such a hard time before and when Dad was diagnosed. I am really upset that I wasn't there for my family during that time.
This blog post is not to whine about them not telling me what happened in the first place, not to express how upset I am. This post is a reminder to me, and to anyone who lives far away from home for whatever reasons - time is ticking. While you are working hard to chase your dream, or to make your parents proud, or to provide your family with a better life, you are losing time that you could have spent with them, your loved ones. Cherish them - go home from time to time, make phone calls or even better video calls, send gifts/cards/letters, send love.
Here's a little advertisement to my Sis's website:
Under My White Coat
She put a lot of thought into this, trying to connect with people who experienced/are experiencing the same thing and to do more research on this rare disease (because information available in Malaysia is scarce). There's this indescribable feeling when I was reading all those comments from people who were trying to connect with Sis and the warmth within. I'm sure Sis is super proud of how this website benefiting people with the same concern or experience because I am.
She's also working on @WhiteCoatBites to provide bite-sized revision tweets for Medical Students out there. :) Do check them out!
To finish this up, proud of Sis who always have that kind soul and who is always passionate about her career field and whatever she was working on. Here to wish you best of luck in your life and love you, Jay :)
