posted by ♂YY♀ on ,

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I wanna start this post with a quote...
"Don't let a bad day make you feel like you have a bad life;
         But do let a happy day make you feel like you have everything in the world!"
--------------------Quote by BigMan's angel, YinYin...

Besides the "Why Can't I?", I got a new quote to motivate myself recently.
Not really to motivate actually, just wanna make myself better.
Don't need further explanation for this I guess? I just want everyone around me to be happy.

We are no longer those kids playing around the field and keep on writing "I have a pen, my pen is blue; I have a friend, my friend is you." poem in friends' notebooks.
And I, can no longer define happy. Naa. Not just about smiling face. It's happy. The real happiness.

Everyone around me is clearly knowing what they wanna do after this.
Lawyer-to-be, doctors-to-be, accountants-to-be, engineers-to-be....
Hmm. When I look at myself...
What am I in future? =/ I have no idea...
Christopher said he was sick that day. Emotionally sick. LOL
And I was randomly affected by the emotionally sick.
I'm not claiming that I'm unhappy right now.
Just hardly to feel happy these days.
YY was used to be a very easily satisfied girl.
She can be very excited and smiles all day long when someone she likes smiled and waved to her,
or even she get free samples from stalls. LOL.

I feel... Clueless. I want to be ambitious like them.
I wanna plan to go to particular universities like them.
I wanna know my own direction like them. =/ I really want to.

I'm sick. I can't even lie down and sleep well.
Every single breathe is incomplete.
I hang myself on the balcony, no star gazing, but staring at the empty streets, leave my brain blank as well.
I tried to take deep breath. *Inhale* *Inhale* *Exhaleeeeee*
What's wrong with me...
Where is the why-can't-i spirit.
Where is the happy-go-lucky YY.
Karine said I was too stress? Did I?
I feel something pressing (or pushing) me very hard when I'm on the bed.

I'm sick. But there's no medicine out there for me.
I just need a giant big fat hug. :'(

Oh, like a teddy bear =/

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